Part two by Dick Houston
WHAT MAKES A GREAT SAFARI GUIDE?

Nic Polenakis with friend Dick Houston of Elefence at a waterhole
with unexpected thirsty guests. Hwange National Park,
Zimbabwe

Part Two:

Later having sundowners by a waterhole in Hwange park, Nic and
I start our stories regarding our separate experiences on
operating safaris all over Africa. Nic has a quick wit and keen
sense of humor, and we laugh a lot. We talk long into the night…
Relaxed around safari fires with drink in hand, you can talk freely
and be yourself. You really listen and get to know people. Nic is
one of the most unassuming and honorable men I’ve ever known.
Over the years I’ve seen he’s a devoted family man. I know his
lovely wife Tracey and his animal-loving 13-year-old son Chris
(who has an ever-grumbling Jack Russell named Grumpy, and a
cool pet rooster named Mister Cheep Cheep!)

I ask Nic what first inspired him to live and work in the bush — and
what he had to do to make his dream come true as a non-hunting
safari guide. Nic thinks a moment and then tells his story to me…
“You know, Dick, being trained as a professional guide in
Zimbabwe, where I was born, is extremely arduous. And is
arguably Africa’s toughest and most rigorous professional guides
examination process.

I served my 3 year apprentice on a rhino conservancy under a
fully qualified professional guide where I mastered the basics of
bush lore, tree identification, animal behavior, mammals, birds,
arthropods, star gazing, general knowledge, shooting, safety,
advanced first aid, spoor and skull identification, mechanics and
much more.

During this learning period I had many exciting forays. I lay in
ambush against poachers, climbed trees to escape black rhino,
was charged by elephant, stood face to face with 3 black
mambas! Then, of all things, I had a close shave with a domestic
Brahman Bull! Yes you heard right! I will never forget being told to
go and destroy a Brahman bull that escaped its pen, and was
running wild and could not be captured.

I couldn’t believe this easy task; I mean if it was a Cape buffalo it
would be one thing but a domestic bull?! This was surely no
challenge at all…

I finally located the ‘’wild animal’’ and after setting up an ambush I
stood on a path and waited for it to approach. The huge Brahman
bull ambled towards me, raised his head and charged! I was
taken totally by surprise and raised my rifle and fired in time,
dropping him only feet from me! This was nearly an embarrassing
situation, one in which I don’t think my fellow colleagues would
have let me off so lightly!

After passing the stringent professional guides written exam, I
was invited to the shooting practical exam where shooting both
moving and fixed targets set at varying distances, where speed,
accuracy, weapon handling and safety were paramount. This is a
crucial aptitude when you are responsible for the safety of your
clients on walking safaris into the bush.

Years earlier and after making my mind up that I was going to be
a professional guide, I purchased a .458 Winchester mag and
took it to the range to try it out. Sitting on the ground I raised my
rifle, took aim at the target and slowly squeezed the trigger. After
the dust had settled and my ears normalized, I sat there in total
disbelief and shock!! My shoulder felt like it was broken, and I
think I missed the target all together! What came to my mind was
how on earth was I to one day become proficient at shooting this
thing?

After passing the shooting exam, I was invited to the next step: a
daunting oral interview where one sits in front of his peers and is
bombarded with questions. This is then followed by the dreaded
‘nature table’ where one has to identify skulls, tree pods,
arthropods, bird feathers, nests and seemingly endless ‘artifacts’.
Only candidates whom the panel deem competent, and ready for
the last hurdle, are invited to the final practical exam.

This one-week-long practical exam is legendary, and not for the
faint-hearted. Here, a total of 20 plus aspiring professional guides,
are broken into groups of 4 to 5 hopefuls. They are expected to
set up their tented camp and host some of the examiners. There
is no place to hide and you are expected to excel. It is grueling,
tiresome and nerve-racking where one is examined on everything
and anything!

When I took the learner’s examination there were over 200
candidates. By the time the practical exam arrived 3 years later,
there were about 20 of us left — of which only 4 passed. I was one
of them.…”